Saturday, February 23, 2008

Bible Sales

A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very seriousfinancial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discoveredseveral cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from thecongregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for$10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church.Jack, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.The ministe r knew that Jack and Paul earned their living as salesmen andwere likely capable of selling some bibles. But he had seriousdoubts about Louie who was a local farmer, who had always kept tohimself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. PoorLouis stuttered badly. But, NOT WANTING TO discourage Louis, theminister decided to let him try anyway.He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stackedwith bibles. He asked them to meet with him and report the results oftheir door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediatelyasked Jack, "Well, Jack, how did you make out selling our bibles lastweek?"Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Jack replied, "Using my salesprowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collectedon behalf of the church.""Fine job, Jack!" The minister said, vigorously shaking h is hand. "Youare indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."Turning to Paul, "And Paul, how many bibles did you sell for the Churchlast week?"Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am aprofessional salesman. I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, andhere's $280 I collected."The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You aretruly a professional salesman and the church is indebted to you."Apprehensively, the minister turned to Louie and said, "And Louie, didyou manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered theminister a large envelope.The minister opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?"the minister exclaimed. "Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are yousuggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to door, injust one week?"Louie just nodded. That's impossible!" both Jack and Paul said inunison. "We are professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10times as many bibles as we could.""Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister! agreed. "I think you'dbetter explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."Louie shrugged. "I-I-I re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-forsh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tellus what you said to them when they answered the door!""A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-wouldy-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bibleF-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-youj-j-j-just l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-he re andr-r-r-r-r-read it t-to y-y-you??"